by Anura Guruge
on November 21, 2022
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One of my cousins, a younger cousin of that, died unexpectedly & untimely yesterday (in Sri Lanka). A second cousin of mine, a nephew of the deceased, called me up, to talk about it. During our conversation he asked me IF I believed that: “Life Is Suffering“!
That did NOT sit well with I.
I turned it around. Asked him. He ‘squirmed’. He had been using the ‘life is suffering‘ to rationalize the death of his uncle. But, when I asked him the question he claimed that he did NOT believe it. That was good. I hope it is true.
I grew up with this ‘life is suffering’ as a centerpiece of my life. Yes, I know it all. You get old, you get sick, you die, you suffer separations, you suffer loss. Know all that. Bar death, experienced all the others too. Yes, I even know the symbolism of why Buddhist offer flowers as offerings. Flowers wilt & then die. Same as us. Suffering. The wilting of the flowers is supposed to remind us of this.
But, I cannot — & I will NOT — accept that life is suffering. That is too defeatist. That is giving up on life. I refuse to do that. I LOVE LIFE. My life is NOT a bed of roses. I have more impediments than most! But, I refuse to let them get me down. I wake up every morning raring to enjoy the day, make the most of it.
This cousin who died, a ‘chartered accountant’ (who retired way young), believed, totally & utterly, in ‘life is suffering’. 16 years ago he told me that MY LIFE WAS DONE. My life was over. That I was stupid to look forward in life. He basically expected me to give up on life because I was then in my 50s. He never married. He never had kids. Not so I. 16 years ago I was awaiting the birth of my youngest — & he tells me that my life was OVER. That did not sit well with I. 16 years later I have NOT given up on life. My life is not over. Kind of sad, & alas, his is. Knowing a bit of what he believed this must have been a relief for him. Over the last 20 years or so he became ultra-Buddhist. He did much for the cause. I know he tutored Buddhist monks on English. He was very devout. He probably hopes that he accumulated enough merit to attain nirvana. So that he will not be born again — to yet again go through a life was suffering. I doubt whether he would have attained nirvana. Sorry.
But, I have good news for him & all of you. We ALL ATTAIN NIRVANA when we die. Sod the merits. Merits don’t matter. There is NO AFTERLIFE. There is no soul. There is no rebirth. There is no reincarnation. When you die, you die. THE END. Kaput. Period. End of story. End of chapter. End of life. NOTHING AFTER THAT. Poof. Done. NOTHING. What Buddha called nirvana. Smile. Aren’t you glad I enlightened YOU. No thanks necessary. It is my pleasure & duty.